Stay or Let Go?

Have you ever noticed that one thing there never seems to be a shortage of is relationship advice? Every time you turn on the t.v., open a newspaper or magazine or listen to the radio, there is an “expert” giving out advice on relationships.

For that reason, it might seem odd that anyone would have to go online to find some good relationship advice, but it’s not. You see advice is just like anything else; it is only as good as the person who is giving it.

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Just because someone is considered an “expert” doesn’t mean they know what is best for you and your relationship. However, this is not an excuse for you to dismiss what you are told just because you don’t want to hear it either. It is a fine line.

I firmly believe that we all know what we need to do (in our hearts at least) but sometimes we just don’t want to do it. We often know when our relationships are broken beyond repair, but who wants to face that?

Instead we insist on beating a dead relationship and trying to “force” it to work. That is a waste of time and emotion. So, I guess that would be step one in any plan to fix a relationship: make sure it really can be fixed before you waste energy on it.

So, how do you know if it can be fixed? That is actually pretty easy, all you have to do is figure out two things: what is the problem and do you think your partner is willing to work on it with you?

If the problem is a serious one like abuse, it may be best to move on. If your partner is abusing you in any way it will take them quite some time to change, assuming they are even willing to change. In most cases you are probably better off just calling it quits and moving on.

If the problems are not so serious, the next thing you need to determine, with total honesty, is how likely your partner is to work with you on fixing the problems. No one is saying they have to do all the work, but if your partner won’t work with you, you can’t do it all yourself.

At this point you really need a gut check. It can be really difficult to face the fact that your partner is either too self involved or simply doesn’t care enough about the relationship to work with you, but if that is the case do yourself a favor and move on. You will be happier in the long run.

Relationships can definitely be challenging in the best of times, but too often we stay in the wrong relationships with the wrong person just because we are afraid. Afraid of being alone, afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, etc.

But if you stay in that type of relationship, you don’t really have a relationship at all.